You Smelt It, You Dealt It
No REAL pairing. A taste of pseudo Kris/Adam, and some not-exactly-scorned!Matt. | PG | 1,043 words | 02 September, 2009
Beta: abusing_sarcasm, who puts up with all my crazy shit.
Warnings: None.
Summary: Kris has an awful idea...
Notes: This was written in honour of the Boy's Bus's first trending party!
***
"OH! OH MY GOD!" Danny shouts, standing suddenly from his place on the couch. "Who did that?"
"It wasn't me!" Matt exclaims.
"Not me," Anoop replies, covering his nose with his shirt.
"Oh, gross, you guys," says Michael, standing to open a window.
"Oh, man...it reeks in here!" Kris says, also hiding in his shirt.
"Well, it had to be one of you," Matt says.
"Us? Why not you?" accuses Danny, his voice nasally as his fingers are clamped over his nose.
"What? Why me?"
"Whoever smelt it, dealt it," chimes in Kris.
"That's so second grade," Anoop says behind the 100% preshrunk cotton covering his nose.
Kris shrugs, and looks down to his iPhone, where he's been scrolling through his latest @replies while they've all been watching late night TV.
"You guys," he says, going unheard. Danny and Matt and Anoop are going back and forth about the ‘blast radius' and where the smell is coming from, even though they all have their noses plugged.
"You guys..." He sees Michael look over to him.
"Hey, you guys!" Michael barks, in a tone much like Kris's father when he's demanding attention. The other three immediately shut up.
Kris shoots Michael a slide glance. "Thanks." Michael shrugs back and Kris can see his smile under his hand.
"You guys...I have an idea..."
***
"Oh my god, that's EVIL!" Matt says, grinning widely as the bus had now mostly been cleared of the smell. "I'm in." He pulls out his phone.
"Wait, let me start it."
"Why do you get to start it?" Matty whines, pouting. Kris knows he's just being difficult because he can.
"Because it was his idea, duuuu," says Danny, chuckling. "Oh, he's gonna be SO pissed."
Kris shrugged. "Actually I think he'll roll his eyes and call us children, but-"
"-It'll be so worth it," Michael says. Kris nods, grinning.
"Okay. Wait, no. Adam will know it was my idea. Anoop, you start it." Kris says.
Anoop laughs, raising his eyebrows. "Okay..." He types in his own hashtag on Twitter, hitting ‘update' before he can think twice.
"I see it!" says Matt, and quickly starts typing. "Ha! Not me!" he claims, doing a little victory shimmy.
Kris's tweet shows up right after Danny, and his phone is already filled with responses of "What?" and "Oh no!" and "Who was it?"
Then, as Michael tweets the last ‘not it!', the responses start changing to ‘omg! Which ones are left? #someonefarted @KrisAllen4Real said so.'
He grins. They just started their first trending party.
After a few minutes, it's apparent that the fans are trying to deduce who's left on the bus that hasn't tweeted. "Hey, you guys...we forgot someone."
"What? Who?" says Michael.
"Scott!" Danny yells, going into the back of the bus where Scott is laying down, nearly asleep.
"Scott, buddy, I don't mean to wake you, but we need you to get up and help tweet something. Or just give us your phone, we'll do it for you," Kris hears Danny say.
After a few moments of murmurs, Danny comes back, with a sleepy Scott in tow.
"What's goin' on, guys?" Scott says.
"We've started our own trending party!" says Matt, bouncing in his seat.
"Trending party? On Twitter?"
"Yep! You gotta get in on it, or it won't work."
"Why?"
"Because," Matt says.
"Because we're trying to frame Adam for the stink bomb that was just landed in here a bit ago," says Kris, grinning.
Though he can't see, Scott's eyes brows shoot up, and looks surprised. Then he laughs. "All right. I'm in."
The second Scott tweets, messages pour in. "Oh, wow. The fans have started a new tag!" Kris exclaims after typing in ‘#adamfarted' and telling the other guys to do the same and sees ‘#adamwasframed' pop up on screen. He laughs. "Oh, and they're not happy Adam isn't around to defend himself."
"What do you mean?"
Kris shows his phone to Anoop. "See? They started ‘adamwasframed'."
"Sweet, bro."
"This is awesome," Danny says from his seat next to Scott on the couch.
"I'm gonna flail," Kris says, typing in a tweet and sending it off.
"Flail? What?" says Matt.
"In honor of our first twitter trend! The Fans are always trending something for one of us...it's about time we did one for them."
"Right on, brotha," Matt replies, nodding his head.
"I'm not going to bed until those tags are number one and number two," Michael claims.
"You should tweet that," Kris says, standing and stretching. "All right. All that flailing has made me tired. I'm gonna go to bed."
"Aw, c'mon, Twitter King, the party's just gettin' started!" Michael says.
"Watch – it'll still be going when we wake up."
***
"It made it to number two and number three, with Adam on top," says Michael to Kris as Kris walks to the front of the bus the next morning.
"Really? Sweet!"
"Yeah, but Adam was beat out by ‘sex101'."
They're all laughing around cereal when Adam comes out of the bunks, looking bed mussed and very tired.
"Hey guys...what's up?" He looks puzzled as everyone starts snickering.
"What?"
"Oh...nothing," says Danny, grinning down into his cereal.
"You....might want to check Twitter," says Scott, and a bark of laughter escapes Matt's throat.
"What?" says Adam. "Twitter? What for?"
"Just...just check it, dude," says Anoop, shaking his head and smiling.
Frowning, Adam pulls out his phone and logs into Twitter. He looks at his homepage and starts giggling, rolling his eyes. "Mature, guys. Real mature."
At this point, all of the bus has burst into loud laughter.
"So who came up with that brilliant idea?" Adam says as he tweets a new message, calling out his bus-mates and calling them all twelve year olds.
Kris gets the tweet and grins. "I told you guys he'd call us children," he says, showing everyone at the table Adam's tweet.
"Kris?! It was you? I should have known. Only my best friend would think so lowly of me. No, would frame me, while I'm sleeping peacefully." Adam's words are scandalized, but he's smiling.
Kris shrugs. "What are best friends for?"
"OH MY GOD! NOT AGAIN!" Danny exclaims, putting his whole face in his shirt.
Everyone looks to Adam.
"It wasn't me!"
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